Recognize Happiness

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One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats.

~ Iris Murdoch

It’s easy to recognize the big splashes of things and events that make us happy – the new car, new house, new job, new relationship, or our team winning the big game. But how often do we notice the simple, everyday things that make us happy? Like a new squeaky toy to play with, a heartwarming smile from a stranger, or a perfect cup of morning brew. The warm sun on our faces as we drive to yet another routine place, and the beauty on either side of the road as we travel there. What if we started noticing and recognizing more and more of these small things that bring us happiness? I believe it could tilt us towards a more meaningful and joyful journey. 

The old sayings like ‘look for the silver lining’, ‘glass half full vs. empty’, and ‘count your blessings’ often make me want to roll my eyes, but there can be a spot of truth in their intent. It’s not always easy, but what if we stop for a beat when something is ‘wrong’ and reframe our thoughts? Instead of focusing on the negative, the ugly, the angry, or the problem, why not highlight what is right about the situation or focus more on the other things that ARE better? If we can retrain ourselves to go there first, maybe we might find a bit more serenity and yes, even happiness. Which could also make those around us less uncomfortable and happier too!

And so, this has recently been an ongoing task for me, as you have undoubtedly noticed in previous writings 🤣.  No, we are not in our new, beautiful house yet, and the delays and problems still take center stage for my family and me. They tend to overshadow the bigger picture of what we are building. Not just a house, but a home to be filled with family, love, laughter, celebrations, beautiful surroundings, and delicious food!

I have settled on allowing myself a moment of frustration when a new problem crops up, but after that moment, I want to fill the space with a small glimpse of something sweet and happy to look forward to.  Or visualize one of the many cool things we have included in our new home that makes me smile.   

These moments of frustration, anger, and fatigue during the entire building process remind me to notice more of the happy things I often take for granted. There is an endless stream of ‘small treats’ that flow around me.  It’s these little, happy treats I want to focus more on.  Caylee the Zen Puppy’s cuteness all day long, beautiful sunrises, good music, the feel of sand between my toes on the beach, impromptu gatherings with my friends and family, a yummy piece of candy, a silly joke, a quiet evening of TV and drawing, and laughter at the dinner table.  These things make me happy!  And when I can notice these as I am experiencing them, they become even more powerful.

We will never be free of problems, difficulties, or anguish in our lives. But when our first response is to give them merit by complaining, victimizing, or lashing out, we end up reinforcing the problem for ourselves, and then this response becomes a habit. I hope to use our house-building experience to practice focusing, noticing, and recognizing elsewhere – and I still have a lot of practice coming!  

When we develop the better habit of pausing before taking the uglier path, I believe it makes the problem easier to handle. I keep reminding myself that I don’t need to turn everything into a big issue. They will all get resolved, everything will work out, time heals all wounds, and by the way, our large floor tile is truly amazing!

When I pause and recognize everything around me that makes me happy, including how much I love my family and friends and the many happy treats I experience daily, the other noise diminishes in volume.  I really want to focus more on the happy, good things!

How can you recognize your happiness?

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